Why do I feel unreal and numb after smoking weed? Depersonalization!

Hi, my name is Ben. I felt unreal for almost two months before I figured out what was going on. Here is what I learned.

Why do you feel unreal and numb after smoking weed? You may have depersonalization/derealization disorder (DDD). DDD is a mental disorder, which causes you to feel unreal, numb, like in a dream or video game, two dimensional, as though you were looking through a pane of glass, disconnected from your body and or dissociative.

I had depersonalization/derealization disorder. Since then, I have helped over a hundred different people who also had DDD, thus I know how it feels, what can cause it, the link between weed and DDD and what can help you get out. Here we go!

What is depersonalization/derealization disorder?

How do scientists categorize DDD? DDD is categorized as a nonpsychotic mental disorder and as a dissociative disorder:

  • The most important and scientifically accepted classification system is the “International Statistical Classification of diseases and related Health Problems, ICD”. The ICD classifies DDD under “other nonpsychotic mental disorders”.
  • Scientist in the United States of America more often use the classification system called “Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders (DSM-5)”. Here DDD is categorized as a “dissociative disorder”.

How do scientists describe the difference between depersonalization and derealization?

  • Depersonalization is a mental disorder in which the patient feels unreal, fake, numb, as though they lack emotion and or is disconnected from their body. Nevertheless, the patient still passes the reality check, meaning they notice that something is wrong.  
  • Derealization is a mental disorder in which the patient perceives his or her surroundings as unreal, fake, two dimensional or as in a dream. Nevertheless, the patient still passes the reality check, meaning they notice that something is wrong.  

How do I describe DDD? Depersonalization, as well as derealization, are hell on earth. A state of mind I would wish on nobody, not even on my worst enemies. I had DDD 24/7 for over four (4) months, and for me, DDD is a protective mechanism, which is triggered by your mind when it feels things are getting out of hand. What do I mean by this? Well, as soon as you exceed a certain anxiety-threshold, this protective mechanism namely DDD is activated. It wants to help you cope with everything that is increasing your anxiety, consciously or unconsciously, which is a little paradox at first since DDD is super scary and boosts your anxiety levels, to begin with. This paradox makes DDD insanely difficult to get rid of.

Is there a link between weed and depersonalization/derealization disorder?

Most people who smoke pot never develop DDD. Nevertheless, a large percentage of people suffering from DDD state that it was triggered by marijuana. In a lot of cases, this change of state is accompanied by a panic attack.

In my opinion, this distinction, whether it was due to weed, or the panic attack is essential for your healing process.

Why? Well, if weed triggered it, I would lean more towards toxins in the body, specifically in the brain, being the cause of the DDD.

In case of a panic attack induced DDD, it seems more likely, in my opinion, that the cause can be found in high anxiety levels due to unresolved trauma such as emotional abuse, death of a loved one, stress at work or even the birth of one’s child.

There might be another reason for weed being one of the main triggers of DDD, and it’s called personalisation.

What is personalisation? DDD most commonly occurs between the ages of 12 and 29, adolescence and young adulthood. During this stage of life, adolescences start a path of self-analysis, second-guessing, questioning who they really are and finding their own identity. This youth identity crisis is called personalisation.

Marijuana is often used to explore one’s inner worlds and can help find your own identity thus supporting an adolescence’s path towards personalization.

However, imagine the following scenario of an adolescent called Mike, who is a highly sensitive youngster, searching for an identity, experienced childhood trauma and is about to smoke a joint. This joint may very well reveal overwhelming feelings and thoughts, which Mike is not ready for, and thus instead of taking a step towards personalization, he dives into a nightmare called DDD.

So, is there a link between weed and DDD? Considering the high percentage of people stating that weed triggered DDD, there must be. Nevertheless, weed could very likely be nothing more than a magnifying glass, giving you a closer look at your own self, which in many cases, admittedly, helps you find your own identity, but can also, in cases like Mike, enforce you to lose contact to reality, welcoming DDD into your life.

What can cause depersonalization/derealization disorder?

My observation is, as soon as your anxiety levels cross a certain threshold, your two new best friends Mr. Depersonalization and Mr. Derealization appear.

I have dedicated countless hours to analysing the causes of DDD. Hereby, considering not only my own experience but also the insights of all the people who have reached out to me. All my experiences, gathered facts and hours of reflection have led me to the belief that DDD appears when your anxiety level crosses a certain threshold. I believe every person carries this threshold within them, but most people’s anxiety levels never reach this critical limit. Nevertheless, some people do, and my observation is that the cause of this anxiety limit exceedance and thus of DDD, can be divided up into two main categories:

  • Toxicity and
  • Trauma

Now every person is wired differently, consequently, trauma and toxicity will affect them differently. Thus, everyone must use some self-awareness to analyse themselves and figure out what’s most likely to have caused their DDD. It’s not necessarily an either-or question, your DDD can have its origin in a combination of both. Thus, I would try tackling anxiety due to toxicity and trauma.

Is Weed toxic?

Is weed toxic and in consequence a possible cause for exceedance of the above-mentioned anxiety threshold? To answer this question, we must understand what toxicity means. A substances toxicity level stands in correlation with the damage it does to the consumer. Tetrahydrocannabinol in short THC is the principal psychoactive constituent in marijuana. THC is inhaled while smoking a joint, absorbed almost instantly from the lungs and passed on into the bloodstream. From here it is transported to the brain and slips through the blood-brain barrier. Here it works its magic, you get your high and then it disappears out of the brain again the same way it came, or it diffuses into the cerebrospinal fluid (CFS), either way, it leaves the brain.  Thus, THC doesn’t stay in the brain or nervous system meaning weed is not toxic, right? Not completely. Why? Because in today’s society a large amount of marijuana is laced with heavy metals.

Which heavy metals can be found in weed that can do severe damage to the consumer?

  • Arsenic
  • Cadmium
  • Mercury and
  • Lead

The problem with these heavy metals is that they don’t leave the brain as swiftly as THC. They tend to linger around and accumulate after passing the blood-brain barrier. Heavy metals have been linked to prominent mental disorders such as dementia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression. This leads me to believe that DDD might possibly also be negatively affected by these heavy metals, if not solely then at least partially. Either way, we want to get out of DDD, and to do so anxiety levels must be decreased, heavy metals increase your toxicity levels and toxicity levels increase your anxiety, consciously or subconsciously. Considering you want to get rid of DDD, every approach which has the potential of decreasing anxiety levels is beneficial, ergo get rid of those heavy metals.

What can cure depersonalization/derealization disorder

I’m sure by now you are wondering what you can do to cure DDD. Sorry, but you will not like this answer. Severe DDD in most cases last between six to twelve months, sometimes even longer. The six most important pillars and the first steps to recovery are:

  • Understanding what you have
  • Knowing you’re not alone
  • Knowing that thousands of people have gotten through DDD, so you can too!
  • Acceptance
  • Patience
  • Keep on going with your life

Now, this knowledge was great to come by, and it really is the foundation of curing DDD. Nevertheless, it didn’t really feel like this knowledge was getting me closer to my goal, which was getting rid of my DDD. I wanted to get out of DDD as fast as possible and I’m sure you feel the same way, thus being patient and waiting six months wasn’t an option. As a result, I tried everything, I mean everything and I will give you a list of what you can do, which could possibly decrease your time stuck in DDD. Before I do though, I want to emphasize, every person is different, every person has different biochemistry, different past and different mental and physical health. Meaning which one of the following tips, if any, will help you, I cannot say. Also, please before you test the following suggestions go to your general practitioner and get yourself checked for any physical symptoms. Get your blood tested and a CT, so you are sure nothing physical is wrong. After you have done this you can continue with my suggestions.

We discussed DDD being caused by toxicity, trauma or a combination of both. I divided the following list into a toxicity and trauma approach section. I would recommend doing everything since everything on the list can decrease your anxiety levels, and which method works best for you, only you can know. So here we go:

Toxicity

  • Visit a toxicologist
  • Try chelation therapy
  • Try these supplements:
    • Enterosgel
    • Chlorell
    • Cleanse the digestive system
    • St John’s Wort
    • Omega 3
    • L-theanine
    • Stress & Anxiety Relief Supplement

The first three supplement suggestions had the largest impact on my DDD. Thus, I can strongly recommend trying a supplement to cleanse the digestive system, Enterosgel and Chlorella. The other supplements were beneficial but not to the degree of the first three.

Trauma

  • Psychotherapy
  • Integrative Manual Therapy
  • Meditation
  • Sport
  • Healthy food

Related questions

Does therapy cure depersonalisation? The day I got out of depersonalisation was after a day of therapy, so yes, therapy can accelerate recovery! Here are the 4 best therapies backed by scientific research and or my own experiences:

  • Psychodynamic therapy
  • Cognitive-behavioural therapy
  • Acceptance and commitment therapy
  • Integrated manual therapy

Want to learn more about the different types of therapy options then feel free to click the link –> Does Therapy Cure Depersonalization

How to find a therapist for depersonalization/derealization disorder DDD?

  1. Understand which therapy can be useful for DDD
  2. Self-analyse the potential cause of your DDD
  3. Choose a therapist accordingly

For a detailed explanation on how and where to find a therapist check on my following post –> How to Find a therapist for Depersonalization

I really hope this information helped you! I feel your pain, I was there, and I lived to see another happier day. Today I am 100% cured. Stay strong! Thousands of people have gotten through depersonalization/derealization disorder, so can you! Don’t give up, keep on going, look forward and know that you will get out!

Where Can You Find DPDR Communities? There are three large reddit threads discussing DPDR topics, a handful of facebook groups and tons of youtube videos in which you can engage in the comments and talk, connect and reach out to fellow DPDR sufferers and recoveries.