It took me 4,5 half months to get out of depersonalization. And one of the first steps in my recovery was understanding what depersonalization/derealization (DPDR) is.
Let me share the very first steps of my DPDR recovery journey with you.
Why was understanding what depersonalization is the first step in my natural DPDR recovery? Being able to give my condition a name decreased my anxiety, enabled me to research it, describe it better to family and friends, and retain hope of finding a remedy. Therefore, understanding what I had was the essential first step in my DPDR recovery.
As someone who is 100% cured from DPDR, and has done immense research on the topic, I’m in a unique position that enables me to help you understand what depersonalization/derealization disorder (DDD) is and hopefully give you some useful advice.
What is depersonalization/derealization disorder?
How do scientists categorize depersonalization/derealization disorder? Depersonalization/derealization disorder is categorized as a nonpsychotic mental disorder and as a dissociative disorder:
- The most important and scientifically accepted classification system is the “International Statistical Classification of diseases and related Health Problems, ICD”. The ICD classifies DDD under “other nonpsychotic mental disorders”.
- Scientist in the United States of America more often use the classification system called “Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders (DSM-5)”. Here DDD is categorized as a “dissociative disorder”.
How do scientists describe the difference between depersonalization and derealization?
- Depersonalization is a mental disorder in which the patient feels unreal, fake, numb, as though they lack emotion and or is disconnected from their body. Nevertheless, the patient still passes the reality check, meaning they notice that something is wrong.
- Derealization is a mental disorder in which the patient perceives his or her surroundings as unreal, fake, two dimensional or as in a dream. Nevertheless, the patient still passes the reality check, meaning they notice that something is wrong.
How do I describe DDD? Depersonalization, as well as derealization, are hell on earth. A state of mind I would wish on nobody, not even on my worst enemies. I had DDD 24/7 for over four (4) months, and for me, DDD is a protective mechanism, which is triggered by your mind when it feels things are getting out of hand. What do I mean by this? Well, as soon as you exceed a certain anxiety-threshold, this protective mechanism namely DDD is activated. It wants to help you cope with everything that is increasing your anxiety, consciously or unconsciously, which is a little paradox at first since DDD is super scary and boosts your anxiety levels, to begin with. This paradox makes DDD insanely difficult to get rid of.
What causes depersonalization / derealization disorder?
I’ve put together a list of all the causes and triggers other DPDR sufferers have mentioned to me, have been mentioned in scientific research or I’ve experienced myself. These can be categorized into four main categories:
- Trauma: the death of a loved one, involvement in an accident, break-up, family abuse/problems, stress at work, birth of a child, bullying, victim of violence
- Toxicity: weed, excessive alcohol, pharmaceuticals, drugs, (other toxins or pollutants). I included other toxins or pollutants in parentheses since I believe that, e.g. mould or air pollution can also play a role in the development of DPDR since it increases the body and minds stress levels. However, I didn’t find any scientific publication substantiating this belief, but then again who would be able to make that connection, since unlike smoking a joint you won’t notice when you’re breathing polluted / toxic air.
- Thoughts and feelings: I’m not good enough, I’m alone, I’ll never be happy, I feel ashamed, scared and hopeless. All these thoughts and feeling can increase your feelings of anxiety.
- No cause: A hand full of people with DPDR mention that DPDR just suddenly was there, no mentionable trigger. They were living a normal life, no trauma or contact with toxins, thus in their opinion no cause. Prof. Dr. Matthias Michal, a German doctor who has specialized in DPDR, has been treating DPDR patients since 2005 in his specially designed DPDR-consultation-hours (If your German is any good you should check out his webpage). In his book on DPDR, he mentions that many patients claim not to know the cause of their DPDR, but often do identify a potential cause during a psychotherapy session. Thus, psychodynamic therapy is the therapy I would suggest for people who state, “no cause” since it uncovers unconscious problems.
Having been in contact with over a hundred people that have had DPDR, having had DPDR myself and having done immense research on the topic I believe DPDR is due to anxiety. This anxiety can be conscious or unconscious, either way, if your anxiety levels exceed a certain anxiety-threshold you enter DPDR. If you want to get out of DPDR, you must decrease your anxiety levels beneath this anxiety-threshold. Have a look at the following illustration, in which the anxiety-threshold is shown:
Depicted on the left is the sum of your anxiety due to trauma, toxicity, thoughts and feelings. The bar chart on the right has a closer look at these causes.
If the right bar chart represented a human being that got DDD it would read as follows from bottom to top: This human would have experienced the death of a loved one, bullying, violence, have family problems, have been in an accident, gone through a break up, use pharmaceuticals, drugs such as ecstasy or ketamine, live in a mold infested house, stress at work would be normal, excessive alcohol consumption would be normal, his or her child would have been born not long ago and this person would have gone through a break-up. This person is thinking about his life and is feeling hopeless and miserable; everything is going wrong; his anxiety increases further, but the anxiety-threshold still hasn’t been crossed. This person decides to smoke a joint, to ease the pain, but rather than feeling relief this person crosses the anxiety-threshold. This was it, the body and mind can’t take it anymore and decide to start up “self-protection-mode” aka DDD. Now weed triggered DDD, but it most definitely is not the sole cause.
I believe you can decrease your anxiety by working through any of the depicted “anxiety-blocks” (death of a loved one, negative feelings, drugs…). This is where your therapist steps in. He or she will help you work through potential causes, hopefully decreasing your anxiety below the anxiety-threshold and out of DDD.
What to do now that you understand DPDR better?
I’m assuming your goal is to cure your DDD as fast as possible. Therefore, let me recommend the following posts in which I talk about my own experiences and things I learned during my DPDR recovery:
- Acceptance & Patients: “How to cure depersonalization naturally? Acceptance and Patients”
- Therapy: “Does Therapy Cure Depersonalization? Here Are The 4 Best Therapies”
- Decreasing Toxicity
- Supplements (Enterosgel, Cleansing Supplement, Chlorella)
- Healthy Living
Who ever you are, please know you can recover 100%! You’re not alone! Thousands of people have depersonalization/derealization disorder, and thousands of people have fought it and won. Nevertheless, it’s a long and challenging battle to recovery, believe me I know! Don’t give up! You can get back to reality, I know you can!
Related Questions
What is Acceptance and Commitment therapy? ACT is a form of psychotherapy that originates from cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and traditional behavioural therapy. ACT follows the belief that people tend to live unhappy lives because they let their negative emotions rule their behaviour, ‘I don’t feel like it, so I won’t do it.’ ACT addresses exactly these feelings and teaches the patient how to keep moving forward using ACT principles. If you want to learn more about the positive effects of ACT make sure to check out this post: “Does Therapy Cure Depersonalization? Here Are The 4 Best Therapies”
How to find a therapist for depersonalization/derealization disorder?
- Understand which therapies can be useful for depersonalization: Psychodynamic-, Cognitive-behavioural-, Acceptance- or Integrative manual therapy
- Self-analyse the potential cause of your depersonalization: Trauma, toxicity, thoughts or feelings
- Choose a therapy type using steps 1 & 2
- Choose a therapist via psychologytoday.com
You can find an article I wrote on this topic here: “How To Find a Therapist For Depersonalization/derealization Disorder? I’m 100% Cured”
Where Can You Find DPDR Communities? There are three large reddit threads discussing DPDR topics, a handful of facebook groups and tons of youtube videos in which you can engage in the comments and talk, connect and reach out to fellow DPDR sufferers and recoveries.